At this moment, I am reminded of my childhood. In my childhood, I listened that one should help his or her fellow beings. When I used to go to Darasgah, my teacher advised me that one should never leave his or her fellow beings in want. He further said that Hazrat Imam Hussain said that one who helps his or her brother in difficulty, Allah will help him or her on the day of Judgement. Keeping this thing in mind, I began to help everyone. I got hurted but never hurted others. I bore everything hoping that one day everything would be good. But I was wrong. I was deceived by those whom I preferred more than myself.
In these years of life, I learnt some lessons that I want to share. These lessons are for everyone. Many in this temporary world will find themselves in my boots. It is purely intentional but I don’t want to hurt anyone. I apologise for any inconvenience. I follow Pablo Neruda in this endeavor.
First is that I have become socially isolated. People look at me with suspicious eyes. I have become socially unbearable. People have many grievances with me. I don’t know why they act as they act. I am a social being and want every society to progress. But they behave in an awkward manner.
Second is that I have become morally corrupted. I feel it is useless to be morally uplifted. Whenever I try to be morally good, I get inverse results. No one believes me. However, when I resort to immoral activities, I am honoured. So,I have learnt that it is not good to be morally uplifted. Here, people will tell me that you should do your good and find good in the court of God. Yes, they are right but I have to live among people. Our Prophet Muhammad complained when he went to Taa’if to teach the ignorant. The way Prophet Muhammad was treated made him to think that it was unnecessary to preach such people who would not respect him at all. I find myself in this situation when I do good to people. In response, they hurt me in every possible manner.
Third is that I have become a source of mockery. Every person mocks me because I have been friendly to them. They take undue advantage of me and never miss an opportunity to mock at me. Is doing good a source of mockery or not? I am unable to understand. If after doing good things, people care treated like this; I suggest all that leave this path and yearn for something new and good.
Last is that I can not go to anyone’s home. I fear in going to anyone’s house. I am the person who has tried his best to secure everyone’s home, is today not in a position to go anyone’s home. What a paradox! I, basically, sought to build good relations among people but in doing this, I am isolated. Others are enjoying their lives. They enjoy every moment but I am unique there. I have to walk alone. I am reminded when people have some work. Otherwise they are busy with those who often hurt them. Those people, who attack their sanctity, are praised.
In short, I am to change myself for something good. I am a lay man, living in this part of the universe. But my words are my words. I am free to speak till I don’t willingly hurt anyone. I am of the opinion that it is better to live a mechanical life than an emotional life. Inconvenience is regretted.
